wonder...

Has it ever occurred to you... why does everything bad happen in one day? it's like...this morning just sucked...and it all went down hill from there. I just dont understand it sometimes. I feel so helpless, and alone. I often walk through the halls of my school and am filled with anger, why is God so far from them? why do I have to be subject to hear all the crap people say? And then i realize, i cant be angry at them, they dont know any better. In fact, shame on me for not showing them what's right. Instead of being angry, i should show mercy and compassion. But sometimes it's just so hard. Today just went from bad to worse...and it just really never got better at all. Im struggling so much right now to trust God and wait for his timing, but it's just so hard...i feel stranded, and helpless. I feel like things are just going to keep getting worse. But then again, sometimes things have to get worse, before they can get better.

"I gotta keep singing, i gotta keep praising your name."

Sovereignty.

Here it is, lately i've struggled greatly with being single. Its something that i've always struggled with, but lately more than ever. I am, and always have been, a hopeless romantic...but for some reason, it seems that everyone has someone -- except me. I've been so bothered by this, that i've actually found myself almost lowering my standards in a guy, just to have someone. But, in church today, Dan preached on how we need to struggle through things, instead of taking the easy way out. I realized, that my lowering standards was my way of taking the easy way out...and that i need to keep my standards high, because it will benefit me in the end. The irony of this whole thing really overwhelmed me today. I had just been thinking and praying about it this morning, and then i show up at church and the sermon hit home like crazy. Sometimes, God's sovereignty takes my breath away. I can't stop thanking Him for helping keep me from making a decision that i would regret. Im sure i'll still struggle with this for a while...but at least now i know that God won't let me down, and that when im being an idiot, He'll hit me on the head with an awesome sermon. =] God is good! mmmkay -- Peace Out Girls Scouts.

"I don't doubt your sovereignty, i doubt my own ability to hear what you're saying and to do the right thing, and i desperately want to do the right thing. But right now i dont hear so well and I was wondering if you could speak up. I know that you tore the veil so i could sit with you in person and hear what you're saying but right now, i think you're whispering...And somewhere in the back of my mind i think you are telling me to wait, and though patience has never been mine -- Lord I will wait to hear from You."

--Sara Groves